BLOODY JOKE

i try and i cant. im frozen. i'm fuckin frozen. i cant freakin move. he's my everything. now i know what it's like to love.
to REALLY love. to long for someone. to live for someone. and he was yanked from me.
taken from me.
and he's gone.
god i fuckin want him back.
i find myself sitting and almost laughing. at what a joke I am. at what an utter bloody joke I am.
i cant find myself now.
i dont have him.
it's a spikey abyss, inky and unrelenting, whipping me and holding me down.
i thought i could never fall into this darkness again.
But he's gone.
my hero...
my love...
gone. i dont have anyone like him. no men will stand up to protect me like he did. he was my heart, soul, mind and sanity.
and now i have nothing....
i need to find myself. i need to recollect myself. i need to be reborn. without him. it's the only way i can survive. it's the only way i will.
i need help. i really, really do.