I HIT THE JACKPOT

Things have been going better. i got my writing thumb back. that tingle in my hand that sends a sensation to my mind. to write...who cares what about...

whether to doodle useless silly dialogue in a romance or a graphic bloody scene of carnage in one of my famous horrors. (none of which are finished...yet...)

its nice simply because it's a release. without having to drink, do drugs, have sex or any
thing ILLEGAL, I can rid myself of all my uselss feelings that only confuse and hurt me.

Although...there was a customer at Albertsons today that tested the limits of my kind-natured patience. I truely (i promise) almost gave him a full frontal fist.

Ahh well watcha gonna do? I certainly shouldn't be complaining. Why you ask?? I have love in my life again.

At first I thought it was a fling. Rebound action, perhaps, from my old beau. ((((I'll call him Slater for privacy reasons. But that's not his real name.)))))) Slater makes life worth living.

He's the sweetest, dearest guy. He makes me feel so wanted. And....HE'S SMART!! halle-freakin-luyah! I hit the jackpot with this guy.

Smart, sexy, charming and uh...an excellent lover. ^_^ *cough*
Well he's giving my life meaning. Or at least...more meaning. And I couldnt be happier.

So maybe that's why I can write again. My broken heart is mended. Or at least starting to be mended. So I'm healing. So my old talents are picking up again. Makes sense.

Which character is better?- Sweet, sensative, decent man who doesnt get girl unfairly OR Smart, rich, charming, sexy (beyond belief) bastard who get's girl unfairly?

Both make your teeth cringe, so which should I pick? I need to get the woman protagonist in bed with one of them. Feedback, peeps.

MOVIE REVIEW FOR- HOSTEL PART II

From two points of view-
_"as a horror addicted fan of gore"- I give it a B for gore.
the few moments that did contain gore in this movie were blunt, quick and unrelenting. I know I flinched at the "blood bath" scene. Ugh. But that's good! In a gory way.
It has some of the same elements as the first one, character build up and such that made one feel for the victims. Lauren German was amazing tho, and beautiful throughout the film. Esp when she took charge at the end and de-manned Stuart. Bra....vo. I suppose. I felt sorry for Heather's character. Todd just messed up and left her there. Ha. Poor girl. She didn't even get to die.
I mean, in general, good gore. If, that is , you want to wait through the BS to get to it.

_"as a serious critic"- I gave it an F for quality.
Come on, seriously. What kind of sick person would ENJOY this? It's horrible. It's only desensitzing you, you know. It's only harming you.
Okay, the hostel series does have a certain appeal to it. The story is original and the characters get into it, but they ruin it by filling it with dragged out scenes of gagging and whimpering (and more recently in the new one) castration. I'm sorry, but I go to the movies for a good time, not to leave feeling dirty and gritty, and like I really need to shower. That's not what people go to the movies for.
So Eli Roth has created a very masterful film, and crapped on it. So uh...yeah. bad film.

Favorite scene-
Near the end, when stuart and todd are going into thier rooms, and that beautiful music is playing. I actually felt a catch in my throat during that song.

Least Favorite scene-
I'm going to have to say all the women kissing and touching each other. or at least that one that did. gross.

most gory scene?-
blood bath city, baby.

FATHER'S DAY

its fathers day...a day that goes largely unsung. Why?
First, what is a father?
The media protrays him as a goof. Normally, a stupid, useless figure that couldn't care less about his family and only cares about golfing, "getting away from the wife", and drinking.
This is so untrue that it digusts me. How did it get to be this way? That the father, the person who makes the most sacrifices in the family, works the most, and gets the least recognition for it is mocked?
How dare anyone mock a father?
To be a father is to care, give, sacrifice, fufill, teach, and develop a legacy, all while keeping bread on the table. They do so much for us and are now mocked?
There are all different types. the kind the media protrays is the "married too early" type. Or "married the wrong girl" type. But why blame the woman for the couple's misfortune? It's almost becoming a fad now-a-days to put down white middle aged men. I think it's sadistic.
my father is the most amazing person i've ever met in my life. he fills my life with reason and logic, and at the same time humor and love. Marry the right girl at the right time, and i guess you're life ends up better. 2+2=4.
some people just can't understand that concept.
well here's to all the father's out there.
you are appreciated. i respect you all for what you do.
even if no one else does.
have a great fathers day. I know my father will.

BLOODY JOKE

i try and i cant. im frozen. i'm fuckin frozen. i cant freakin move. he's my everything. now i know what it's like to love.
to REALLY love. to long for someone. to live for someone. and he was yanked from me.
taken from me.
and he's gone.
god i fuckin want him back.
i find myself sitting and almost laughing. at what a joke I am. at what an utter bloody joke I am.
i cant find myself now.
i dont have him.
it's a spikey abyss, inky and unrelenting, whipping me and holding me down.
i thought i could never fall into this darkness again.
But he's gone.
my hero...
my love...
gone. i dont have anyone like him. no men will stand up to protect me like he did. he was my heart, soul, mind and sanity.
and now i have nothing....
i need to find myself. i need to recollect myself. i need to be reborn. without him. it's the only way i can survive. it's the only way i will.
i need help. i really, really do.

guess not

going to six flags in an hour. the first time i've posted at exactly 7:02 in the a.m.
im real hyper, and normally when i am hyper, the best ideas come into my head
like...a hat made of cheese...
wow!
that freakin came out of no where!
Im kidding. I'm a very sophisticated girl.
I got offered a trip to Europe. To London! ^_^ I can only think of one reason to really go to England *cough* meet myk *cough*. But i said no. I don't know why. Maybe it was because the guy that invited me is uh...kinda...on the...criminally insane side.
The whole issue came out of no where. We were sitting on his couch and all the sudden he's like, "wanna go to europe with me?" and i said,
"the continent?"
as if there was some other europe...but i was so surprised. he laughed and said,
"guess not." then i felt bad.
those two words can hurt really bad. Once you hear them come out of someone's mouth you know the conversation is dead. and beyond repair. You can say something along the lines of "no, that's not what i meant" but normally the other person has made up thier mind.
I'm contemplating seeing Hostel Part II. The first one was somewhat of a disapointment. 45 mins of boobs then poorly done torture. I mean the story was good but the flashy gore and porno-type scenes made it seem not-so intellectual.
The movie hooked me about 48 mins in when Payton (Jay hernandez) walked into the Hostel to find his friend (the blonde guy...forgot his name) and he looked in one of the rooms and found that german guy operating on his dead friend. THAT was the ONLY GOOD horror part in the whole movie. I was like, "oh shit" at that, but then it got boring and tedious. I found myself saying, "just kill him already" at least four times.
Seriously...what kind of sickminded person actually enjoys hearing people whimper like that? If you like that, do me a favor and go see a psychologist. Please. You're wrong in the head whether you think so or not. (as a matter of fact, most insane people don't know they are insane.)
there's a difference between horror and mindless torture. and eli roth is trying to fill the gap with his modern film Hostel. I hope it collects dust on every shelf by 2008.

the pale, chalky column

well i decided to finally let my face be shown. it bothers me only a little, so enjoy it, its leaving soon.
what am i saying? it's just a picture.
I saw three different(new) movies this weekend. Twenty Eight Weeks Later, Dead Silence, Shawn of the Dead.
28 was pretty good. nice and gory but i hadnt seen 28 days later, so I apparently missed ALOT. i was real lost. oh well thats my bad.
Dead Silence didnt scare me at all in the slightest. Until i got into bed that night....
Shawn of the dead was pretty funny. those guys are talented comedians. i really want to see Hot Fuzz now.
I'm officially in a place (i.e. a skip in space or during my existence) where i am at peace. I KNOW that in my previous post I seemed lost, but i slept on it, and had another dream where i took light leaps ahead of the present and found myself clutching a pale, chalky column , looking out over a scene, feeling his hands on my hips. I felt burning too.
It's now my job to find out what that column meant. I have to know why it meant so much to me. Esp because it's a recurring dream. I keep standing next to it, alone with some mystery man behind me, holding me in some way.
Wow taking chronodimensional skips in time makes me hungry,
bye

good times...

my friend got a boyfriend...her first boyfriend.
i'm so proud. i can't help but let it remind me of my first. It reminds me of the good old days.
so i checked my mail today, to see how my boyfriend was doing.
he's moving in two days. he cant see me anymore. He's so sorry and so am I and he'll contact me as soon as he can.
wow...thats a punch in the gut. and the sad part is i cant say that i've never felt so shitty cuz i have. guess im getting used to disapointment. :woot:
So not only am i alone, but I'm going to be hearing about my best friends perfect romance for the next months...
i think this is why people start drinking...
i'm gonna go watch saw 3. bye yall :)
***myk I AM really sorry. forgive me!