maybe not so alone
There were times long ago, when i felt like such a lonely spirit. I felt my heart was lost and i was never meant to love outside my family. I know i'm pretty, but guys dont show interest. It's like I was just meant to be alone. I got over it for a while. Guys who seemed like gods to me would walk up to me, almost menacingly, and ask me for stupid things like a spiral or help on homework. My answer would usually be something along the lines of muttering a small, meek yes into my bag, getting the thing they needed, or handing them my homework.
I'm older now. I'm wiser now. I seem, in opinion, to have mastered human thought. I can have a two minute conversation with someone and know enough about them to know if i want to be thier friend. Any of my friends can confront me with a problem and i can always solve it. Trouble is, i seem to have trouble solving my own problems. Like my obscene lonliness. Somehow, in all of these motherly gestures, and moral speeches, I am the one left alone, which hardly seems fair. I help everyone so easily, but they can't ever help me. Que syrah sirrah right? Should i just learn to live with this lack of romance? or should i be more aggresive?
I think it may be because I'm not a "slut". I think it's because I am a rare species. A woman who wants to save herself for the proper man, for marriage, for holy matramony. For a symbol that i wont wake up the following morning alone and pregnant. Is that so wrong? If they want to run around humping every girl they see, how validated should i feel by being with one of them. Why, i probably dont mean anything at all. Guess I have to wait until they all grow up into men...how long does that take i wonder...
a scene from the simpsons, and one of my favorites scenes of all time-
""Lisa and Mother simpson-[singing] How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man?
Homer- Seven!
Lisa- No, Dad ,it's a rhetorical question.
Homer- Rhetorical, eh??.... Eight!""
6 comments:
i think you are young. I think that long term relationships should be far from your mind. I think that "giving it up" should be even further from your mind. Lonely? Define that. I also can solve problems, though few listen, and most fail in their goals. I wish you luck in finding what you seek.
js
well i wasnt trying to whine. its just a little discouraging. enough to make me doubt my luck with men. I know im young and i know im not looking for someone to marry right now, but i wish some guys would show interest is all.
well what do you do to make yourself available to men? Do you show interest to the guys? Do they know you are interested?
js
well sure i do. i act sweet, i laugh at all thier jokes, i even REPEATEDLY mention to them how horrible it is being single. its almost like i'm just some girl they wont go with *siGH* guess i am whining, huh? oh well...
A bit cheesy sounding, but I thought you might like to hear it:
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the god ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality
they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along. The one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Oh and by the way, thanks for the comments you left me. Really helped me get my spirits up, knowing someone cares!
Do any of these friends of yours have a blog? Love to read some!
Myk
thank you darling, you're so sweet. thats the cutest thing i've ever heard ^_^ anyway, i'm all peppy now. better write another post. heehee ^_^
p.s. my friends only have myspaces. (i personally think myspace is an overly addicting waste of time...but...what do i know? :) )
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