rain

It's raining outside. Pelting bulbous droplets of freezing sky onto the ground and noisily onto my window.
its peaceful in it's own tranquil way. when the thunderclap isnt sounding, sometimes i can hear a voice in the rain. or at least a low, steady "shhhh" as to calm my cluttered mind.
I need it sometimes. Just a calming shush...
Snuggling with my dad and watching a movie. Hugging a pillow and brutally torturing my mind with the worst horror movie ever made...
reading a book by my tiny purple lamp on my bed...
I can find myself in these places.
And i love rain. it's fun to run around and splash in puddles.
getting in touch with your childhood is good for your soul. it reminds you of your inner innocence. The innocence you were born with...and no matter what shit you cover yourself with...that little innocence is still standing there under it.
It's like my friend's girlfriend...she's a heroin addict...and she has sex all the time...in other words...tortures her body.
and she doesn't care. she DARES to call it a lifestyle. I call it suicide. Slow, ignorant suicide.
and it hurts me to think that at one time she was a little girl running around in pig tails having fun and being free.
innocently free...
she used to be "daddy's little girl"...
now she is so far from that.
but in my opinion...you can always go back.
but you have to want to. truely, from the bottem of your heart and soul...
and she doesn't. which hurts me more.